The 5 Best Ways to Overcome the Grief of Losing a Baby
No grief is bigger to a family than losing a baby. If a baby is born and takes a few breaths and then dies, it is called infant death and still born babies are called fetal deaths.
Whether you have lost your child because of still birth during pregnancy or have had a miscarriage, the pain and the grief you must deal with is extremely hard to overcome. Certainly, when your baby dies of any misfortune, your dreams and hopes are shattered. Ultimately, it will require lots of patience to deal with the grief of losing a baby.
Dealing with the grief of loss
No matter what is the reason, the death of a baby is an acute pain for the parents. It can also impact the lives of siblings as well. Undoubtedly, the loss of a baby is an incident of enormous sorrow and there is not a single word or phrase to explain the depth of despair that a parent suffers when dealing with the grief of losing a baby. However, while this is a lifetime grief that may never truly end, it can be lessened after some time if you address what has happened. According to psychologist GH Lewes, “The only treatment for this grief is action. Rather than denying the fact, taking action to overcome the grief is the most effective solution”.
When dealing with a miscarriage or infant death, there are a few tips that may help you in coping with your grief to some extent.
• Give tribute to your baby
Memorizing your baby in a meaningful way is a beautiful way to pay tribute to your lost baby. Some parents make a pendent, get a tattoo, plant a tree or set up a statue of an angel in a favorite part of the garden as a tribute to their baby. I have a dear friend who lost his little boy in an accident. When the child was a baby, there always seemed to be little Ladybird beetles on the windowsill of the baby’s room. The father identified this tiny, little, polka-dotted beetle with his boy, and now places little Ladybird figurines around the house, carries one with him all the time, and has one placed on the dashboard of his car so that he can look at it and know his boy is always remembered. A tribute is one of the most popular ways parents adopt in order to deal with grief.
• Keep a diary
Writing your feelings or thoughts in a diary can help you in expressing your grief, especially when you do not have any one with whom you can talk. This gives you the freedom to write the feelings you are facing everyday due to loss of a baby.
• Look for a support group
Many people who are going through similar grief have found comfort in attending a support group or even creating one of their own. Just search for them in your local community, via your church or even through your medical doctor, and join. This will help you in sharing your feelings and thoughts, and will help in dealing with your grief with those who can understand you better as they too are feeling the same and know what you are experiencing. There are also many local hospitals and support groups created for coping with pregnancy loss. Even if you are not able to find one locally, then look online for support that can be provided by telephone. Whatever you do, ensure you have someone to talk to.
• Take time for yourself
When dealing with the grief of the loss of a baby, you need to allow yourself some time to spend alone. For this, take yourself to a peaceful place and spend ample time getting away from everything for a while. It will help you in overcoming stress and you can begin to understand yourself better after such a loss of a baby.
• Start a new hobby
A busy mind and active body can help a lot in getting your mind off destructive thoughts. No doubt, the loss of a baby is a big event, but one excellent way of coping with this grief is to start a new hobby. You can try yoga or meditation classes or join some other classes that interest you to divert your mind. In starting something new and then executing it, it will help you in utilizing your time in a creative and healing way.
• Adhere to the fundamentals
There are many people who are ready to help you in dealing with grief. As this is a big loss, negativity is definitely expected, but do not feel negative or in doubt if someone is ready to help you. Moreover, you can talk to experienced health professionals if you are not able to function in your daily routine. They will tell you the best things to do for overcoming your grief, provide you with assistance and assurance, and recommend the necessary alternatives if needed.
There is no doubt that the grief due to the loss of a baby is unforgettable, but in the end you have to cope with this grief for your sake and for your family, and you must restart your life again.
***Picture thanks to KaylinAyn Photo***